


Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday (And Everyday is Stupid)

by themoviesinourdreams



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: French Revolution, I'm so sorry, M/M, puppet show, there's a song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:27:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22486336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themoviesinourdreams/pseuds/themoviesinourdreams
Summary: this is a script for a puppet show about the french revolution that is also a one direction fanficiton. I wanted it to be HarryxLouis but with King Louis the sixteenth i realized that would make things pretty confusing. uhh...so here it is
Relationships: Zayn Malik/Harry Styles
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday (And Everyday is Stupid)

**Author's Note:**

> so, for my euro class, we had to write puppet shows about the french revolution (the first one) and I turned ours into a one direction fanfiction, and i've decided it can't hurt to post the script. we got a 98, but obviously it would be better if i could actually perform it. sorry. i hope you guys enjoy it.

Cast Of Characters

-Harry Savorie (Noble from the second estate) -Brandon

-Mob (peasants) - Reagan and Emily for the song

-King Louis XVI - Sadie

-Zeigne Malreaux (peasant) - Alex 

-Tennis player and stage directions - Jackson

-Members of the first and second estate

-Niall Rourain (lawyer in charge of the nationale assemblee) - Andy

-Zeigne’s boyfriend - Reagan

  
  


Scene 1

Meeting of the National Assembly

ZEIGNE’S BOYFRIEND: Zeigne, I love you, but with all this distress between the estates...well, I just think maybe we should see other people.

ZEIGNE: (near tears) Are you - are you...breaking up with me? I don’t understand, why do you think the Revolution is a legitimate reason to break up?

ZEIGNE’S BOYFRIEND: Well...I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I can see into the future, and this is not gonna end well...so I’m fleeing to England while I still can.

ZEIGNE: Take me with you!

ZEIGNE’S BOYFRIEND: Don’t get the wrong idea, this is still a break up. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you’re actually pretty awful to be around. 

ZEIGNE: (Sobs uncontrollably)

ZEIGNE’S (now ex) BOYFRIEND: (exits unceremoniously)

NIALL: (enters and sees Zeigne crying) Hey, don’t cry, we have that political meeting, remember, you have to be there so you can unsubtly lay out plot points and heavily imply events for the future of how we’ll turn France into a place of great fear and terror.

ZEIGNE: That’s true, I do love unsubtle foreshadowing…

_ Transition into meeting room with a big group of people _

NIALL: I, Niall Rourain, call this meeting of the National Assembly to order. (bangs puppet on ground like a judge’s gavel)

ZEIGNE: We have many grievances in our cahier against the king. We have no food, no money, we are taxed relentlessly, and also I am so lonely. 

NIALL: We’ve created this meeting because the King and the second and first estates are taking away our voice in government. Our goal is to create a new legislative body, and we invite clergy and nobles from the second and first estates to join us in fighting this tyranny. We want a new form of government, a form that guarantees rights to all of its people...

_ Transition to a big party for the second estate. Lots of noise, alcohol props. Harry is there looking super uncomfortable… noise stops and other puppets freeze as Harry monologues to the audience. _

HARRY: I am, THE Harry Savorie a member of the second estate, but I empathize with the common people. I want to help them. I agree that taxes such as the taille and corvee are unjustly used to take advantage of the people of the third estate. (looks around dejectedly at the lavish party decor) They threw this party for me because I am engaged to a beautiful woman. I don’t love her. I know she’s rolling in it, but something is always missing with her -  _ l’amour _ . I just want someone to love me wholly and completely for who I am. Is that asking too much? It might be…(wipes tear). But, there’s no time for me to discuss my wayward heart, I need to sneak out of this party and attend the meeting of the third estate. 

_ Harry leaves the party and accidentally causes a huge disruption in the process, the attendees send him dirty looks, he shrugs, says oops, and goes on his merry way. _

NIALL: Anyway, before this meeting is adjourned, I think we should plan the next meeting. The Estates General will probably end in three days-June 20, 1789-and we need to get something done or else we’re just a group of radicals who argue all the time and never get anything done - our very first goal should be to create a new constitution. This official meeting of the National Assembly has been adjourned, until next time,  _ mes amis [PRONOUNCED MEZ-AMEE] _ .

_ The crowd disperses leaving only Zeigne who is sitting alone, looking sad. Harry bursts through the door, breathing heavily. He realizes that there’s only one other person and looks disappointed. _

HARRY: (confused) Where is everyone?

ZEIGNE: The meeting just ended my friend _ ,  _ i’m sorry _. _ Why did you want to come to the meeting? You look like you’re pretty well off under Louis’s rule. 

HARRY: (looks down at his fancy clothes) Money isn’t everything. I want to help the third estate. 

ZEIGNE: (scoffs) Yeah… there’s no way (catches sight of Harry’s distressed face) Oh - you’re being serious...wow. Well, I’m Zeigne: Z-E-I-G-N-E

HARRY: Harry. Well, I guess I have to get back to my uh engagement party. (Zeigne’s entire face falls, Harry tacks this bit on very quickly) I’m not marrying her though, just so you know.

ZEIGNE: (confused) Oh...okay...well, it was nice to meet you then…(exits) 

_ Harry watches him walk away lustfully _

Scene 2 - the tennis court oaths

KING LOUIS 16: (king louis enters, admires himself in a mirror)

Yo, yo, yo. I am esteemed king, Louis the Sixteen, 

I like clocks, locks - (breaks out of rap mode) other things that fit that rhyming scheme

the jaqs scream revolution, wanna write their own constitution, 

I’m doing just fine, let’s order some more wine

The third estate might never be free

No way this will end badly for me

_ (off stage we hear Zeigne and Niall banging on the door. It’s locked. They can’t get in.) _

(Louis laughs evilly) It’s locked! I’m holding a royal session to discuss what you members of the third estate have been doing. The National Assembly will just have to find somewhere else to meet (slight pause), or not meet at all (more evil laughter)

_ Transition to tennis courts _

_ (One sock puppet is alone on the tennis court holding a racquet, Kiran, from the audience, throws a ball at the racquet. The puppet attempts to hit the ball. The third estate - plus Harry barges in loudly.) _

TENNIS STAR: Hey! I’m trying to practice my forehand. What are you doing?

NIALL: (slightly breathless) You need to leave. Us members of the third estate are not leaving these tennis courts until we’ve written a satisfactory constitution.

TENNIS STAR: Alright, that’s cool and all, but I’m not leaving until I’ve perfected my swing.

ZEIGNE: (pushes himself to the front) We don’t have 30 years. People are dying in the streets - there’s no money, no food - 

TENNIS: (annoyed) Okay, okay, I’m leaving… (exits)

NIALL: This is it guys - we’re not leaving here until we’ve written a constitution.

_ (Time passes, the members of the estate are stressed - Niall is pacing back and forth - except for Harry and Zeigne who sit away from the crowd, talking) _

HARRY: So...what’s your favorite color?

ZEIGNE: What kind of  _ cul ennuyeux  _ question is that? If we’re gonna get to know each other, let’s dive a little deeper than that. (an afterthought) It’s green. Like your eyes.

HARRY: Okay...um…if you had 20 minutes left to live, what would you do?

ZEIGNE: Well...I’d get drunk off of cognac  _ [PRONOUNCED CONE-YAK] _ , I guess. I imagine death would be less painful if one is inebriated. Same question to you.

HARRY: I’d wanna do some passionate act of love you know...really go out with a bang.

ZEIGNE: (rolls his eyes) What a sap.

HARRY: Yeah but I’m your sap…(kisses Zeigne’s cheek)

_ (More time passes Niall jumps us triumphantly.) _

NIALL: I’ve done it! It’s called The Declaration of the Rights of Man, and it’s a real constitution… although I kind of stole a bunch from the Americans… Now, we must summon King Louis so he can sign it.

_ (The puppets gather in a circle and chant Louis’s name over and over again - let this go on for a good 15-20 seconds - suddenly, King Louis appears.) _

LOUIS: (forte voice) I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED!

NIALL: Yes, King Louis, the man we summoned, we want you to sign our new constitution. It elicits the National Assembly’s core value that men are born and remain free in equal rights such as freedom, private property, and resistance to oppression. Please, sign this for us.

LOUIS: Hm...okay let me think about it (thinks for .0001 seconds) NO! Actually, I’m sending troops to the outskirts of Versailles and Paris just to keep the third estate in check. Peace out. (disappears)

ZEIGNE: what happens now?

Scene 3

Storming of the Bastille

_ (A series of signs appear.) _

_ July 14, 1789, Louis has fired Jacques Necker, his minister of finance _

_ With this and the troops sent to Paris and Versailles, the third estate sees this as an attempt at complete control. They decide to do something drastic. Storm the bastille _

MOB: (singing) **Ain’t got nothing to eat**

**Ain’t got nothing to drink**

**Not gonna pay no taxes, thinking of revolution**

**Ain’t gonna wait for change, gonna start a revolution**

**Can’t even trust the government, ‘cause the aristocrats be stinking**

**Everybody acting suspicious, but really they’re no different**

**Than people in their jail cells, dreaming of redemption**

**And all I want is the king, pleading for protecting**

**I’m gonna keep on revolting; it’s the only way to change it**

**I don’t understand the estates men who go around pretending as if the National Assembly even did anything**

**‘Cause some things keep happening, and the taxes keep increasing -**

**And on July 13th I go to sleep**

**But when I wake up in the morning I got murder on my mind**

**‘Bout to storm the Bastille**

**‘Cause the taxes are a crime**

**And all these peasants waiting**

**‘Cause they know it’s finally time**

**And we just got to do it**

**We got murder on our mind**

**It’s revolution time**

**We got murder on our mind**

_ (The mob destroys the Bastille of Legos) _

_ The French Revolution has now officially begun _

_ (Intense gasps from all) _

Scene 4

The Great Fear

_ (Riot noises, screams and crashes are heard from offstage. Zeigne and Harry are alone on stage, huddled together maybe with a blanket, listening. They’re scared.) _

ZEIGNE: The riots have been going on for days now, Harry, will they ever stop?

HARRY: I don’t know. (to audience) They’re rioting because of economic concerns, rural panic, and the rumors that surfaced after we stormed the Bastille.

ZEIGNE: Harry, who are you talking to?

HARRY: (sheepishly) I dunno.

_ (Noises get louder) _

ZEIGNE: The riot is coming closer. Do you think they’ll hurt us?

HARRY: Why would they, Zeigne, we’re allies?

_ (Noises get even louder) _

ZEIGNE: I don’t know if they have any regard for that. Harry, remember what you said about a passionate act of love?

HARRY: Yeah…?

ZEIGNE: Well, this is mine - (kisses Harry as rioting gets increasingly loud)

End/Fin

**Author's Note:**

> it's alright if you guys don't like it, because it's reeeeeally stupid lmao. i love you im gonna post a real fanfic soon i have a lot of ideas in flux right now


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